Hope you All had a lovely New Year! To my surprise my sister from NY came down to visit the family for the New Year Celebration.
My Mom had her four children with her for a New Year celebration. It has been a long time since that has happened!
Even though I consider ourselves a close knit family I must admit that we are not! I have hesitated to even put this out here in the big ole World Wide Web. After thinking about it yesterday while I just hibernated in my house all day in PJ’s I said why not? This is MY blog and it kind of works as my psychiatrist! I really want this to become a place in which I can pour my heart out without being judged. I know that some family members read my blog. But hey if you don’t like what you are reading than just don’t read it.
Some things will never change! 2008 will be no different as far as family is concerned. Let me back track so you can get a glimpse of where I am coming from and don’t think I am a total Looney bin.
I am the youngest of the girls in my family and the youngest and the only boy is my little brother.
The “Sister’s” of the family have always has a rough relationship. I think it has more to do as how the middle sister treated my Mom and Dad that I resent her for it. My Mom may not be perfect, but she is and always has been the type of Mom that would do anything for her kids!
Why my sister has come to be what she is, is her own doing. She has chosen to live the way she does. She has made her own choices and decisions that have bought her to the lifestyle she lives. I was raised in the same house with the same values as her and my other siblings and I think I came out ok.
I married young, this is true and it is a fact of my life. However if I would not have made that mistake in thinking my high school sweetheart was the Love of my life I would not have my darling son Joey who I adore! I later met the TRUE LOVE of MY LIFE who is my dear hubby!
I made my mistakes and still do. The difference is that I have learned from my mistakes! I consider myself to live a “Normal” life. I may not be rich and I do admit at times we have struggled to keep the bills paid. We have our ups and downs as a family. However I have learned with those ups and downs.
I remember when I first started this blog. I was having so much trouble understanding Joey. I even questioned my parenting skills. At one point I realized that it needed to change. I put all my effort and love and I Praise the Lord that we get along so much now a days.
We still have our differences, and it ain’t all peaches n creams, but what family is?
So when you have someone who has treated your Mom in a way that I would not even dare treat my worst enemy it is hard. But I try. Not for me. But, for my Mom!
I would have preferred to have stayed home on New Years Eve. BUT the family was all going to my cousins house to celebrate and I had no other choice than to go and put on a nice face for my mom.
While posing to take a picture in my house before leaving to my cousins house, I was told that I was fat! Ok, I know I have to loose some weight. I am not the young girl anymore that used to eat anything and not gain an ounce of fat! But you can play nice!
While at the party I really don’t know how it came but I was told that even though I was the youngest one I looked the oldest!
And if that was not enough I was also told basically that even though I was the youngest I acted like an old prude!
I know that maybe alcohol helped in this choice of words from my sister. However it still hurt. I was always teased by kids at school, family and friends about my body or looks. I may not be Miss America, nor have the latest fashion wardrobe, because I think more of my kids when buying myself some clothes. I may not be a skinny size 3 or 5 like them.
But you know I have more than that. I have a wonderful husband whom I adore!, My three precious sons who are the reason for me to LIVE. I have a humble home. A good paying job. And the one thing that I have that no one can take away from me is the pride of being an old, fat MOM, that my kids ADORE!!!!!!
I have come to terms that we will never be a “Normal” family. And looking in my Mom’s eyes I know she has realized this too. And that really hurts. I shed my tears yesterday while I told my husband.
He gave me the biggest bear hug and told me that I was his Queen, that Joey and I were the best things that crossed his path and that he thanked me for being the mother of his children.
And to me that is what matters!